I recently attended a seminar where I spoke with several parents of tweens and young teens (11-14 years old) on the spectrum.  Many of them asked me the same question: “What can I do to start preparing my son/daughter for driving?”

One of the best early interventions can be behavior modeling.  Consider that, as parents, we start teaching our kids how to drive at the age of two, when they first move into a forward-facing car seat and begin watching us drive.

Ask yourself honestly, what kind of driver are you?  What driving behaviors are you modeling for your child?  Do you always keep both hands on the steering wheel, or do you often have a drink, snack or cell phone in one hand?  Do you palm the wheel around to make turns at intersections?  Do you speed?  Do you ever yell or otherwise show impatience or frustration with other drivers?  Do you stop completely at every stop sign and traffic light?

Most kids on the spectrum are rule followers, and your behavior sets the rules – for better or for worse.  And kids on the spectrum are even less likely than typical teens to buy into the whole “Do as I say, not as I do” philosophy.

If you’ve got some bad habits behind the wheel, and you’ve got an up-and-coming young driver-to-be watching you, the best thing you can do is to start talking about those bad habits with them.  When you catch yourself in a bad habit, acknowledge it with an “oops!”, and then talk with them about the proper technique and model it.

If you have a thirteen year old at home now, the next three years of your behavior can make teaching her to drive simple or very, very challenging.